guard your tongue Archives

Monday

8

January 2024

A fool flaunts his folly

Written by H, Posted in Christian Living, Published Work

Words are the streams

James wrote that “the tongue can no man tame;” (James 3:8). It’s funny how such a small thing can wield so much power.

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” (Ephesians 4:29).

“Corrupt” here means rotten, worthless, or unfit for use.

In Barnes’ Notes on the Bible, he explains that the root word for “corrupt” is applied to “putrid vegetable or animal substances. Then it is applied to a tree that is of a useless character…”.

The words that proceed out of our mouths are based on our character. As Matthew Henry wrote, “The heart is the fountain, words are the streams. A troubled fountain, and a corrupt spring, must send forth muddy and unpleasant streams. Nothing but the salt of grace, cast into the spring, will heal the waters, season the speech, and purify the corrupt communication.”

Unless we get things right at the source, we are at risk of spewing garbage rather than ministering grace.

We are not alone in our struggle to tame the tongue

Proverbs 13:16 says that “in everything the prudent acts with knowledge, but a fool flaunts his folly.” Making a joke of sin and making light of holy things don’t really seem like a big deal because we’ve been conditioned to believe that they’re not a big deal, and that we’re not a big deal unless we’re doing those very things.

Standing up for what’s sacred?

Don’t be a fuddy-duddy; you’re no fun!

Just take a look at what the world laughs at, and who the world holds in high regard.

Paul wrote in his letter to the church at Colosse that we are to put off “anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth. Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds;” (Colossians 3:8-9). “Filthy” here has the same meaning of the “corrupt” communication in Ephesians 4:29.

Rotten and worthless words that are unfit for use are so provoking that these cautions were included in two different letters to two entirely different groups of Christians. To think that we are alone in our struggle to tame the tongue would be grossly ignorant. Some people are just better than others at knowing when to speak and when to stay silent.

“By their fruits ye shall know them.”
Matthew 7:20

Jesus said in Matthew 7 that “By their fruits ye shall know them.” (7:20).

What are our fruits?

Our character, our actions, and of course, our words.

What do others hear from us in the course of conversation? Jesus also cautioned in Matthew that “Every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.” (Matthew 12:36-37). This is not a threat, but certainly a reminder that what we say—and what we don’t say—is of eternal significance.

We can talk a lot, but when our words and our actions don’t line up, others are going to notice. We can lie with our words but our actions betray us.

Originally published as “A fool flaunts his folly.” Independent Plus. August 25, 2022: 5. Print. Web.

Thursday

4

January 2024

Gossiping gives no grace

Written by H, Posted in Christian Living, Published Work

"Where no wood is, there the fire goes out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth." (Proverbs 26:20) | Read more about gossip on hopereflected.com

“Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth.” (Proverbs 26:20)

We are wise not to speak when we don’t have all the facts. Gossiping gives no grace and only gives us a false sense of importance when in fact it is a fruitless exercise. “He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.” (Proverbs 20:19).

When it comes to slanderers, Proverbs 20:19 gives us wise instruction: Steer clear, avoid sharing sensitive information, and be smart. Let’s call gossiping out for what it is—evil (James 3:15-16). I don’t think I am alone in learning the hard way that no good comes from speaking when we don’t have all the facts.

Think before you speak

While we can apologize for what we say, we can’t take it back, and so it is critically important that we think before we speak. We are not the first generation to be faced with this challenge; there are so many examples of the consequences of the tongue throughout Scripture.

David wrote in Psalm 101:5, “Whoso privily slandereth his neighbour, him will I cut off: him that hath an high look and a proud heart will not I suffer.”

Our speech often reveals our pride, and unfortunately, to boost their self-importance, some people purposely speak lies about others and put them down. Matthew Henry wrote that “Many endeavour to raise themselves into the favour of princes by unjust representations of persons and things, which they think will please their prince.”

There is a reason that “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour” (Exodus 20:16) is included as one of the ten commandments.

What to do when you’re the target of gossip

Conversely, when we are the target of gossip and slander, we must be equally as careful to guard our tongues.

We need to watch what we say when we’re hurt or angry.

Solomon wrote “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1). We know what keeps the peace (it’s not speaking when we’re angry). The trouble is, it’s upsetting when someone calls our character into question. It’s when we’re overly emotional that we endanger ourselves and can lose control of our tongues.

It is a characteristic of the wise to hold the tongue in the heat of anger— “The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.” (Proverbs 19:1)—and even more a demonstration of wisdom to overlook an offense.

Rather than react without thinking, we ought as Matthew Henry wrote to “Give it time, and it will cool.”

Death and life are in the power of the tongue

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue:
and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.”
Proverbs 18:21

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” (Proverbs 18:21). Matthew Henry wrote that “Many a one has been his own death by a foul tongue, or the death of others by a false tongue; and on the contrary, many a one has saved his own life, or procured the comfort of it, by a prudent gentle tongue, and saved the lives of others by a seasonable testimony or intercession for them.”

Originally published as “Gossiping gives no grace.” Independent Plus. August 18, 2022: 5. Print. Web.

Friday

29

September 2023

What are you getting at?

Written by H, Posted in Christian Living, Published Work

Verses from the book of Proverbs about thinking before we speak

Verses from Proverbs about thinking before you speak. Read more on hopereflected.com

Getting the last word

Proverbs 4:7 tells us that “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.”

It seems in life that we use all our getting for things other than wisdom and understanding.

In conversation, we’re more eager about getting the last word in than we are actually listening to what others have to say. We get caught up in getting everything off our chests and venting instead of waiting to react and respond. We’re taken up with getting, but sometimes what we’re getting isn’t good for us, and makes us into fools instead of wise people.

Responding without listening

We’re all guilty of it; in the middle of a conversation, instead of actively listening, we tend to formulate our next statement.

Proverbs 14:3 says that “In the mouth of the foolish is a rod of pride: but the lips of the wise shall preserve them.”

When we respond without listening, we are being foolish. Matthew Henry wrote that “Where there is pride in the heart, and no wisdom in the head to suppress it, it commonly shows itself in the words…”. Someone once said that the problem with closed-minded people is that their mouths are always open. People who are closed-minded are often that way because they’re more interested in the sound of their own voice than they are in listening to what others have to say.

Getting everything off your chest

As Proverbs 18:2 tells us, “A fool hath no delight in understanding, but that his heart may discover itself.” Wise people want to understand, and so they think before they speak. They’re more interested in getting understanding than they are getting the last word.

While a fool is more interested in getting everything off his chest, a wise person understands the value in purposefully processing before speaking. Wise people think before they speak. “A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.” (Proverbs 29:11).

Holding your peace

At one time or another, we’ve all been reminded to “sleep on it” or to “take a breath” before responding to a rude comment, a terse work email, or a backwards compliment. Sometimes, a fresh perspective helps us see that perhaps no response is best. Careful consideration in a conversation can save us from saying something we’ll regret.

I believe it was Mark Twain who wrote that “It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt.” In Proverbs 17:28 we read that “Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.”

Getting understanding > getting your point across

This is not to suggest that we should go around quietly and never speak up and speak out, however we ought to know when to speak and when to hold our tongues. While getting everything off our chests may be tempting, there is a time and place to speak and to be silent.

When it comes to our words, we should be more interested in getting understanding than getting our point across.

Originally published as “What are you getting at?” Independent Plus. July 14, 2022: 5. Print. Web.

Friday

18

August 2017

Hope Reflected | Watching Your Words

Written by H, Posted in Christian Living, Published Work

Watching your words

If you follow along on our blog (www.hopereflected.com), then you know how much Wes and I love bird watching. From robins and blue jays to cardinals and mourning doves, there is something so soothing and therapeutic about watching God’s creations live their lives and interact in our yard. When I told him my column this week would be about the tongue, Wes commented about how so often we think of “the tongue” as something that gets us into trouble, when in reality, our tongues were created to bring glory to God. And not just our tongues, but the tongues of the birds out side as well. Birds sing to attract mates, birds call to protect their territory or alert others in their flock of food or danger. And sometimes, birds just sing. The Bible tells us in Psalm 66:4 that all the earth worships God and sings praises to Him.

What’s the first thing – in nature – that you hear when you wake up in the morning? Likely birds singing (or possibly dogs barking). If you’re into whale watching, it’s a fact that you’re most likely to see whales at their most active and vocal first thing in the morning. As part of God’s creation, we are also created to glorify Him with our lives and our voices – and that includes the words that leave our lips. The Westminster Catechism says that, “the chief end of man is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever.” That starts when we awake in the morning!

What prompted me to write about the power of the tongue this week was reading Psalm 141, where verse 3 says, “Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips.” Many times throughout scripture, we are told of the perils of the tongue and how important it is to be mindful of our words and actions. You might think that guarding your tongue isn’t of much significance, but even Jesus “held His peace.” (Matthew 26:63). If Jesus knew the importance of guarding His tongue – especially right before He was crucified – we should also be mindful of His example.

Through scripture we read about the bad implications of the tongue, but we should also consider what the Bible says about the blessings that come when you guard your tongue and watch your words:

You will gain understanding. “Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.” (Proverbs 17:28) Sometimes it can be so tempting to interrupt and get your two cents in before the person you’re conversing with finishes their thought. Consider how the quality of our conversations would improve if only we would take the time to listen to the thoughts of others before responding. As it says in Proverbs 10:19, “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.” What you say reflects what’s in your heart. When you listen rather than speak, you gain understanding.
You will have fewer regrets. “Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.” (Proverbs 21:23) Like turning jelly back into powder or putting an egg back in its shell after it’s been broken, once your words leave your lips, you can’t take them back. This is a lesson we are all constantly learning. Our words have consequences. You may have heard the quote, “Our words are free; it’s how we use them that may cost us.” How true it is! Just remember the next time you’re tempted that it’s not necessary to react to everything you notice.
You will encourage others. “A gentle tongue is a tree of life.” (Proverbs 15:4) Our words have the power to build others up, or to tear others down (Proverbs 15:1) – especially when we speak out of turn or talk about others behind their back. Proverbs 16:24 says that “gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” Knowing this, why not use your words and your tongue to edify others?

Isaiah 55:12 says, “For you shall go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.” God’s creation, even the trees of the field, have their own way of speaking. Before you let those words roll off your tongue, consider who you’re directing the words at and the permanent impact that your words may have on the life of another.

Originally published as “Watching your words.” Minto Express, Independent Plus, Arthur Enterprise-News, Mount Forest Confederate. August 10, 2017: 7. Print. Web.

Wednesday

7

December 2016

Wednesday Wisdom: Guard Your Mouth and Your Tongue

Written by H, Posted in Christian Living, Wednesday Wisdom

“Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.” Proverbs 21:23

Guarding my tongue can be a challenge. Evidently, I’m not the only one, as throughout the Bible we read of various examples of men and women who learned the importance of guarding their mouths and tongues. Often seen as a sign of wisdom, there is a quote that says, “Wise men are not always silent, but they know when to be.” It’s important to learn when to speak, and when to hold your tongue. It’s not always easy, but if you get in the practice of tasting your words before you speak them, guarding your mouth and your tongue gets easier. The art of knowing when to speak and when to hold your tongue, is a life-long learning process, I’m convinced.

Here are some verses that speak about guarding your mouth and thinking before you speak:

“Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips.” Psalm 141:3
“An evil man is ensnared by the transgression of his lips, but the righteous will escape from trouble.” Proverbs 12:13
“The one who guards his mouth preserves his life; the one who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.” Proverbs 13:3
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:21

“Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.” Proverbs 21:23

guard your tongue Archive

8

A fool flaunts his folly

Words are the streams

We are not alone in our struggle to tame the tongue

Originally published as “A fool flaunts his folly.” Independent Plus. August 25, 2022: 5. Print. Web.

4

Gossiping gives no grace

“Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth.” (Proverbs 26:20)

Think before you speak

What to do when you’re the target of gossip

Death and life are in the power of the tongue

Originally published as “Gossiping gives no grace.” Independent Plus. August 18, 2022: 5. Print. Web.

29

What are you getting at?

Verses from the book of Proverbs about thinking before we speak

Getting the last word

Responding without listening

Getting everything off your chest

Holding your peace

Getting understanding > getting your point across

Originally published as “What are you getting at?” Independent Plus. July 14, 2022: 5. Print. Web.

18

Hope Reflected | Watching Your Words

Originally published as “Watching your words.” Minto Express, Independent Plus, Arthur Enterprise-News, Mount Forest Confederate. August 10, 2017: 7. Print. Web.

7

Wednesday Wisdom: Guard Your Mouth and Your Tongue

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