power of the tongue Archives

Monday

8

January 2024

A fool flaunts his folly

Written by H, Posted in Christian Living, Published Work

Words are the streams

James wrote that “the tongue can no man tame;” (James 3:8). It’s funny how such a small thing can wield so much power.

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” (Ephesians 4:29).

“Corrupt” here means rotten, worthless, or unfit for use.

In Barnes’ Notes on the Bible, he explains that the root word for “corrupt” is applied to “putrid vegetable or animal substances. Then it is applied to a tree that is of a useless character…”.

The words that proceed out of our mouths are based on our character. As Matthew Henry wrote, “The heart is the fountain, words are the streams. A troubled fountain, and a corrupt spring, must send forth muddy and unpleasant streams. Nothing but the salt of grace, cast into the spring, will heal the waters, season the speech, and purify the corrupt communication.”

Unless we get things right at the source, we are at risk of spewing garbage rather than ministering grace.

We are not alone in our struggle to tame the tongue

Proverbs 13:16 says that “in everything the prudent acts with knowledge, but a fool flaunts his folly.” Making a joke of sin and making light of holy things don’t really seem like a big deal because we’ve been conditioned to believe that they’re not a big deal, and that we’re not a big deal unless we’re doing those very things.

Standing up for what’s sacred?

Don’t be a fuddy-duddy; you’re no fun!

Just take a look at what the world laughs at, and who the world holds in high regard.

Paul wrote in his letter to the church at Colosse that we are to put off “anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth. Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds;” (Colossians 3:8-9). “Filthy” here has the same meaning of the “corrupt” communication in Ephesians 4:29.

Rotten and worthless words that are unfit for use are so provoking that these cautions were included in two different letters to two entirely different groups of Christians. To think that we are alone in our struggle to tame the tongue would be grossly ignorant. Some people are just better than others at knowing when to speak and when to stay silent.

“By their fruits ye shall know them.”
Matthew 7:20

Jesus said in Matthew 7 that “By their fruits ye shall know them.” (7:20).

What are our fruits?

Our character, our actions, and of course, our words.

What do others hear from us in the course of conversation? Jesus also cautioned in Matthew that “Every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.” (Matthew 12:36-37). This is not a threat, but certainly a reminder that what we say—and what we don’t say—is of eternal significance.

We can talk a lot, but when our words and our actions don’t line up, others are going to notice. We can lie with our words but our actions betray us.

Originally published as “A fool flaunts his folly.” Independent Plus. August 25, 2022: 5. Print. Web.

Thursday

4

January 2024

Gossiping gives no grace

Written by H, Posted in Christian Living, Published Work

"Where no wood is, there the fire goes out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth." (Proverbs 26:20) | Read more about gossip on hopereflected.com

“Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth.” (Proverbs 26:20)

We are wise not to speak when we don’t have all the facts. Gossiping gives no grace and only gives us a false sense of importance when in fact it is a fruitless exercise. “He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.” (Proverbs 20:19).

When it comes to slanderers, Proverbs 20:19 gives us wise instruction: Steer clear, avoid sharing sensitive information, and be smart. Let’s call gossiping out for what it is—evil (James 3:15-16). I don’t think I am alone in learning the hard way that no good comes from speaking when we don’t have all the facts.

Think before you speak

While we can apologize for what we say, we can’t take it back, and so it is critically important that we think before we speak. We are not the first generation to be faced with this challenge; there are so many examples of the consequences of the tongue throughout Scripture.

David wrote in Psalm 101:5, “Whoso privily slandereth his neighbour, him will I cut off: him that hath an high look and a proud heart will not I suffer.”

Our speech often reveals our pride, and unfortunately, to boost their self-importance, some people purposely speak lies about others and put them down. Matthew Henry wrote that “Many endeavour to raise themselves into the favour of princes by unjust representations of persons and things, which they think will please their prince.”

There is a reason that “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour” (Exodus 20:16) is included as one of the ten commandments.

What to do when you’re the target of gossip

Conversely, when we are the target of gossip and slander, we must be equally as careful to guard our tongues.

We need to watch what we say when we’re hurt or angry.

Solomon wrote “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1). We know what keeps the peace (it’s not speaking when we’re angry). The trouble is, it’s upsetting when someone calls our character into question. It’s when we’re overly emotional that we endanger ourselves and can lose control of our tongues.

It is a characteristic of the wise to hold the tongue in the heat of anger— “The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.” (Proverbs 19:1)—and even more a demonstration of wisdom to overlook an offense.

Rather than react without thinking, we ought as Matthew Henry wrote to “Give it time, and it will cool.”

Death and life are in the power of the tongue

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue:
and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.”
Proverbs 18:21

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” (Proverbs 18:21). Matthew Henry wrote that “Many a one has been his own death by a foul tongue, or the death of others by a false tongue; and on the contrary, many a one has saved his own life, or procured the comfort of it, by a prudent gentle tongue, and saved the lives of others by a seasonable testimony or intercession for them.”

Originally published as “Gossiping gives no grace.” Independent Plus. August 18, 2022: 5. Print. Web.

Friday

29

September 2023

What are you getting at?

Written by H, Posted in Christian Living, Published Work

Verses from the book of Proverbs about thinking before we speak

Verses from Proverbs about thinking before you speak. Read more on hopereflected.com

Getting the last word

Proverbs 4:7 tells us that “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.”

It seems in life that we use all our getting for things other than wisdom and understanding.

In conversation, we’re more eager about getting the last word in than we are actually listening to what others have to say. We get caught up in getting everything off our chests and venting instead of waiting to react and respond. We’re taken up with getting, but sometimes what we’re getting isn’t good for us, and makes us into fools instead of wise people.

Responding without listening

We’re all guilty of it; in the middle of a conversation, instead of actively listening, we tend to formulate our next statement.

Proverbs 14:3 says that “In the mouth of the foolish is a rod of pride: but the lips of the wise shall preserve them.”

When we respond without listening, we are being foolish. Matthew Henry wrote that “Where there is pride in the heart, and no wisdom in the head to suppress it, it commonly shows itself in the words…”. Someone once said that the problem with closed-minded people is that their mouths are always open. People who are closed-minded are often that way because they’re more interested in the sound of their own voice than they are in listening to what others have to say.

Getting everything off your chest

As Proverbs 18:2 tells us, “A fool hath no delight in understanding, but that his heart may discover itself.” Wise people want to understand, and so they think before they speak. They’re more interested in getting understanding than they are getting the last word.

While a fool is more interested in getting everything off his chest, a wise person understands the value in purposefully processing before speaking. Wise people think before they speak. “A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.” (Proverbs 29:11).

Holding your peace

At one time or another, we’ve all been reminded to “sleep on it” or to “take a breath” before responding to a rude comment, a terse work email, or a backwards compliment. Sometimes, a fresh perspective helps us see that perhaps no response is best. Careful consideration in a conversation can save us from saying something we’ll regret.

I believe it was Mark Twain who wrote that “It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt.” In Proverbs 17:28 we read that “Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.”

Getting understanding > getting your point across

This is not to suggest that we should go around quietly and never speak up and speak out, however we ought to know when to speak and when to hold our tongues. While getting everything off our chests may be tempting, there is a time and place to speak and to be silent.

When it comes to our words, we should be more interested in getting understanding than getting our point across.

Originally published as “What are you getting at?” Independent Plus. July 14, 2022: 5. Print. Web.

Friday

24

March 2017

Hope Reflected | The power of the tongue

Written by H, Posted in Christian Living, Published Work

The power of the tongue

One thing that we all have in common is that at some point or another, each one of us, – inevitably, – is going to say something we don’t mean. You may make a comment in the middle of an argument, or maybe it will be something you say behind someone’s back, or perhaps you’ll speak words to someone that just don’t come out right. Or, as Wes experienced this past week, you may say something about a complete stranger that you instantly regret. The tongue. At some point in each one of our lives, our tongues are going to hurt someone else and cause us trouble.

The problem with the tongue is that once you say something, you can’t take it back. James 3:5 tells us, “Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles!” We all need to learn how to guard our tongues and watch our mouths.

There’s the old saying that goes, “God gave us mouths that close and ears that don’t so that should tell us something.” It’s so true, isn’t it? How often we speak words in haste when really we should be just as quick to listen. I write that quickly, like it’s no big deal and easy to do, when the reality is more often than not quite different. I struggle at least a couple of times a day to listen when everything in me wants to interrupt. It’s like, sometimes when someone else is speaking and telling me something, the time I should be spending listening to them, I’m actually formulating my response to them in my head. That’s not right. We are called to be “quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.” (James 1:19) Don’t underestimate the power of the tongue.

Once you say it, you can’t take it back. “There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, but the tongue of the wise promotes health.” (Proverbs 12:18) Like the toothpaste leaving the tube analogy, once you speak words, you can’t “un-speak” them. That’s why it’s so important to consider our words before saying them aloud.
Actions speak louder than words. “Let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.” (1 John 3:18) There’s the saying that goes, “You can preach a better sermon with your life than with your lips.” The way you live is just – or more – important than the words you speak. There is no such thing as a part-time Christian. Living a life that is pleasing to God happens every day of the week, every where, – whether you’re in the barn or in the office, – authentic Christian living does not just happen on Sundays while you’re in church.
Take a step back; give it some time. “He who guards his mouth preserves his life, but he who opens wide his lips shall have destruction.” (Proverbs 13:3) If you’re anything like me, sometimes you just need to take a step back before you react. I’ve learned the hard way – and learned several times, actually – that in the heat of the moment is the wrong time to hit the ‘send’ button on that reactive email or to say something out of spite. Usually, the best practice is just to sleep on it. Give yourself some time to cool off before you answer anyone in a heated tone. “Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace.” (Proverbs 17:28)
It’s never too late to apologize and ask forgiveness. “’Yet even now,’ declares the LORD, ‘Return to Me with all your heart.” (Joel 2:12) In earthly terms, words can be forgiven but not forgotten. But God, when we truly repent, He forgives and God has the ability to wash our slate clean and make us white as snow. If we’re truly reflecting a life lived for Him, we’ll seek forgiveness to those we’ve wronged through our words (and our actions). It’s never too late to seek forgiveness, and you might be surprised how well received a sincere apology will be.

Proverbs 18:21 reminds us that “death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” James 3:7-8 shares that “For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind. But no man can tame the tongue.” It may be small, but the tongue is a mighty weapon. May each of our words speak love and truth.

Originally published as “The power of the tongue.” Minto Express, Independent Plus, Arthur Enterprise-News, Mount Forest Confederate. March 9, 2017: 8. Print.

power of the tongue Archive

8

A fool flaunts his folly

Words are the streams

We are not alone in our struggle to tame the tongue

Originally published as “A fool flaunts his folly.” Independent Plus. August 25, 2022: 5. Print. Web.

4

Gossiping gives no grace

“Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth.” (Proverbs 26:20)

Think before you speak

What to do when you’re the target of gossip

Death and life are in the power of the tongue

Originally published as “Gossiping gives no grace.” Independent Plus. August 18, 2022: 5. Print. Web.

29

What are you getting at?

Verses from the book of Proverbs about thinking before we speak

Getting the last word

Responding without listening

Getting everything off your chest

Holding your peace

Getting understanding > getting your point across

Originally published as “What are you getting at?” Independent Plus. July 14, 2022: 5. Print. Web.

24

Hope Reflected | The power of the tongue

Originally published as “The power of the tongue.” Minto Express, Independent Plus, Arthur Enterprise-News, Mount Forest Confederate. March 9, 2017: 8. Print.

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